Boycott Orlando

Apparently the City of Orlando has an ordinance that bans feeding large groups of people in public parks. A local group, Orlando Food Not Bombs, had started to feed the poor in the city's park. Local businesses and people began to complain, so the city passed an ordinance that bans serving food to more than 25 people. So the group addapted and other groups joined in to support this vital service. Now people are being arrested for feeding the poor. Check out the article on the Beliefnet Blog.

"http://blog.beliefnet.com/godspolitics/2008/06/arrested-for-feeding-the-poor.html"

My suggestion is to not support any business in Orlando, and discourage anyone from doing business in Orlando. Heck don't visit Orlando unless it's to help serve food to the poor. Find productive ways to support the people of Orlando who serve the poor.

Father's Day

I have discovered that when it comes to kids I expect the worse. This weekend my wife, Helen, took a two day class in Fabric Arts in Columbus, which is an hour and half drive from our house. So she was out of the house by 7am and not expected to be home until 7pm. This left me with the two boys for the whole weekend.
Our typical day is me getting up with Charlie after 7am. Then Helen getting up anytime after 9am with Luke. Then she heads to work by 10am. We usually visit once in the afternoon and she is home by 7pm. But a priest does not work typical 9-5 hours, their schedule changes from week to week, depending on evening meetings and services. It demands for more flexibility with the family schedule, but also allows for more family time. For this weekend there wasn't going to be much family time with mom.
Our first plans for the weekend were to all get up with mom and go to Columbus, do something for four hours in the morning, visit mommy for lunch, do something in the afternoon for four hours, pick mommy up after her class, and go home. I just needed to fill in the what to dos. Taking in to consideration Charlie's need for activity, Luke's need for naps, both needs for food, Luke's fussiness for the carseat, plus consider the weather and plan accordingly. On top of these new demands on me, Sunday was Father's Day.
All in all the weekend was pretty pleasant. I decided that getting up early with mommy was too much. So Helen drove separately from us and the kids slept in. Letting your kids get as much sleep as they will take can make all the difference. We didn't have any meltdowns even though mommy wasn't available. Luke got his naps on the trips between Columbus and home, which cut down his carseat fussiness. And even when Charlie got a nap he wasn't up until midnight either night, which is usually the case with him.
Saturday we took grandma to Danville and went to a garage sale in the morning. After visiting mommy, we went to the zoo for a couple of hours. At this stage Charlie dictates where we go, for this trip it was the tigers first and with out stops between. Then the elephants to see how junior has grown. Next was the apes and monkeys to see the new arrivals. Last was the playground. Luke seemed as interested in the other people and kids as he was the animals. After the zoo I had to drive around since the boys fell asleep. Which wasn't so bad since there are parts of Columbus I haven't seen. Once they slept long enough, we stopped by the Laughing Ogre, a comic book store. Charlie is taking after his dad with his interest in super heroes. He takes after his mom, because most of the heroes he is interested in are women, that's whole other post. After we picked up the latest, we headed back to see mommy and then drove home, in which Luke took a third nap, yeah! no fussiness.
Sunday went even smoother. We went to church, without mommy, crazy. Luke was a model child. And Charlie is showing more signs of being okay with other adults. He chose to hangout with Megan Aebi, who was filling in for the usual kid summer attendant, instead of hangin' with dad and Luke. After church we headed to Columbus to visit mommy, Luke napped. Then we went to COSI, science museum. Charlie was very understanding and patient when we had to wait for Luke to be done playing, before we could do something Charlie wanted to do. Both kids enjoyed watching rats play basketball. Both slept afterwards on the trip home, so no Luke carseat fussiness. I probably did more whinning in my head thinking about the weekend then the two boys actually did all weekend. It was a pretty good Father's Day. Oh yeah, my wife got me the cordless grass trimmer I've been looking at.

TheBoys

TheBoys
Originally uploaded by hssb1125

Here they are. My two sons.

The Second One Is Faster

Luke is going on ten months now. He already has four teeth. He's crawling, but working on the pulling himself to standing and walking behind push toys. He talks up a storm, baby talk that is. Doesn't mind when others hold him and doesn't seem to have seperation anxiety, unless he's tired and spots mom or dad peeking in on him. He will play on his own for large blocks of time, definitely more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time; more like thirty minutes. Life is different with Luke and it seems to zip by.

We don't seem to take as many pics or video footage. I know we have two kids now, but Charlie doesn't require as much oversight. We ae splitting our time between two now. I think we love him as much as Charlie. Maybe it's the newness of having a child, being a new parent has warn off. It definitely is getting easier.

I find more time to ride these days. With Charlie it took two years before I could even think about starting a regular riding schedule. Luke is nine months along and I've riden more this Spring than the past three years. And hey, this my second posting this Spring.

Eight months later

Luke is 9 months old now. He is trying to better the marks set by his brother, Charlie. He has three teeth in or coming in. He's crawling on all fours. Talks up a storm. Sleeps thru most nights, Charlie just started sleeping thru the night.

It's only been recently that I've been able to get more done around the house, other than laundry and general cleaning. These guys can keep a person busy. Then add a mother-in-law to the mix, and ther isn't much extra time left. Now that Luke gets around on his own, he tends to play on his own longer. Just have to keep a close eye on him, and put the gates up. The nice thing about that is you get a lot of exercise doing high stepping. But they both still like to be carried, so the weight lifting routine continues.

Well off to catch the kid before he reaches the stairs.

Do I Start a New Blog?

We are now a family of four. Luke Andrew was born Aug. 23. Should I now start a new blog titled "Raising Sons"?

As the doctor pulled him out of his mommy and passed him over to the nurse, my first impression was that he looked like a tree frog. His limbs were kicking and flailing in all different directions, and his long fingers and toes were spread out. And as babies are naturally all torso and head to start with, his arms and legs are very skinny looking in comparison, much like a frogs. Thus his first nickname is "Froggy".

So now the family begins the process and getting to know Luke, and Charlie begins to learn what it means to be a big brother. He's already off to a good start. He loves to hold his brother and claim how "cute" he is. And when Luke cries, Charlie tells us he needs to rush off and check on the baby, or if Charlie is holding him when Luke cries, he quickly wants to hand the baby off to a parent. It's hard to find words to convey these awe-inspiring new occurances in our family, experiencing it is so much better.

Missed Spring

The next one(child) is not even here yet, and I find it hard to keep up with this blog already. I missed my Spring posting. (It seems I'm able to make one posting a season.) I have to admit that as Charlie has gotten older I have actually been able to do more things that I used to do before him. I haven't been able to ride 100+ miles aweek, but I have been on a few rides with Charlie in tow. He likes to sit in the bike trailer watching the world go by. I've also been able to get more house work done while mom's at work.
Charlie has made some major development recently. He will play on his own for larger periods of time, thus the ability to get more house work done. Another development is actually playing with other kids. It's not just parallel play, it is interaction with his peers.
One significant moment for me came last month. It was a sharing of my childhood with the next generation. I grew up going to drive-in movies with family. It always seemed to be uncles that took me most of the time. It was something that left an indelible impression on me. So much so that I have shared the drive-in movie going experience with youth groups and now my own family. Helen and I took Charlie to go see the new Disney film "Cars". He was not mesmerized by the movie as much as I thought he would be, but he loved the new experience of being in the car and seeing a movie. He bounced back and forth between the front seats, he hung out the window banging on the roof, he wandered the concession area seeing the new sites and watching people, he snacked on popcorn, and watched some of the movie. All in all he showed my why you take kids to the drive-in to begin with, so you don't disturb the other patrans, and you get more out of it than just seeing a movie. There is more interaction at a drive-in, between family as well as other patrons and staff. It is so much more of a community experience. Drive-ins are so much more of a freeing and enjoyable movie experience.

Another one on the way

The word is out now, so I can post it. And since I havn't posted in awhile this seem to be something to inspire my posting. My status as a Stay-at-Home-Father has been renewed for at least another six years. What all the round about talk means is that we are expecting a new baby in August. As planned, Charlie will not be an only child. He seems to be ready for it as well. He loves to look at babies. If he sees a stroller, he wants to look inside at the baby. One of his favorite Christmas gifts was a baby doll. And his favorite episode of Franklin (a kids TV program about a turtle) is the one in which Franlin's friend, Bear, becomes a big brother to a new baby sister. Now to see what the reality of having a sibling is really about for Charlie.

He's not a baby any more

It became obvious at the beginning of the new school year that Charlie is no longer a baby. It was like overnight he had grown six inches and could talk and run and jump and had grown a head of hair. For me the transformation came with pulling out his winter clothes, they're tailored more after adult fashion than infant styling. He's now wearing jeans and boots, so he looks older. But other people began to make note of the transformation as well. They would comment about how he is not a baby anymore, he's a toddler all grown up.

He'll be two years old in a couple of weeks. It is amazing how your perception of time is changed by having a kid. It can have a duality. There is the time you equate to the passing of your own life, what you perceive to be short or long passages of time. These are usually in blocks in relation to developmental stages or significant markers in life. Then there is the perception of time in relation to watching your kid grow up and how much time you will have with them in all their stages of life.

Ten years have passed since I graduated college. I fell that not much has happened in my life since then. There have been many events; a couple of job changes, more schooling, marriage, the birth of my child. But developmentally not much change has occurred. I'm now definitely considered an adult, or old by youth standards. Now compare that to what will have happened with Charlie in ten years. He will have learned to speak in sentences, learned to read, learned to play games, develop friendships, explore interests/discover hobbies, he will have finished elementary school, finished or at least started puberty, In essence he will have become a whole different person at least twice over as he becomes an adolescent and then a teenager. And some people think there might be other stages like preadolescent and preteen. In essence he will have outgrown his parents and ready for independence. Oh well, I still have ten years.

Summer Heat

Summer is half way through, we have returned from all our travels. Now we prepare for the mother in-law to move in. The reality of it has not hit us very hard. We have been too busy working to get the house ready to speculate what our life will be like in a month. I have actually found a pleasure in becoming a true DIY (Do It Yourselfer). I've had to fix the bathroom floor, replace a bath sink, flip the door, put in new cabinets, paint and patch the walls, install new light fixtures, install a new floor, and install fixtures. And that is just one room, we still have two other rooms to work on to prepare for the mother in-law. If the mother in-law becomes a focus of stress, I'll probably find new home projects to gain relief. Bring on the skylights.

Charlie has picked up some new tricks. "NO", he got that one from his cousin. Fortunately he uses it primarily on the dog. The distracting technique is not working on him as much, so fits of crying have increased. And what a climber he has become. He has entered the realm of two year olds and he still has four months to go. I guess I can say he's advanced for his age.: )

Spring

Wow! Two months since my last post. I've been busy.

With the arrival of Spring I have been busy doing work on the house and getting outside with Charlie. He loves to be outdoors. He's learned about blowing dandelions and watching the seeds float in the air. His favorite activity is chasing Roxanne, but at this point there is not much chasing, he gets excited when Rox runs and waddles after her. His will is becoming a noticeable force. He lets you know when he wants something, and when he doesn't get what he wants. The flip side of this though is his blooming of understanding. He is learning to communicate with us and when he realizes he gets positive results from his attempts he is quite happy. When he doesn't get the favorable results, that's when the displeasure sets in for all.
He has learned the sign for "please" as well as "more". He is working on "help" and "water". His vocal skills are coming along as well. "Ball" and "bye, bye" are the most obvious. But he has a pretty good "peez" for "please". Plus his babbling is a regular thing. To sit and watch him is like watching someone conversing with others. He uses cadence and fluxuation, as well as laughter; he can be very expressive.
It truly has been a Spring of growth.

Black & White World

Living Faithfully in an Ambiguous World

"Our hearts and minds desire clarity. We like to have a clear picture of a situation, a clear view of how things fit together, and clear insight into our own and the world's problems. But just as in nature colors and shapes mingle without clear-cut distinctions, human life doesn't offer the clarity we are looking for. The borders between love and hate, evil and good, beauty and ugliness, heroism and cowardice, care and neglect, guilt and blamelessness are mostly vague, ambiguous, and hard to discern.

It is not easy to live faithfully in a world full of ambiguities. We have to learn to make wise choices without needing to be entirely sure."

-Henri Nouwen


This is the meditation for March 27th. It reminded me of some musings I had jotted down a couple weeks ago.

Our society has been shoved into a black & white, right & wrong, world. Be it from the media and politics. We are assualted from both of the extreme ends of the spectrum. These are the only choices presented to us, no middle ground (and heaven forbid even the thought of working TOGETHER for compromise.)

To take it a step further, to choose one is to determine which end you live with, because your choice determines all choices. Thus to choose a conservative, right wing, christian view such as opposition to abortion is to say that you are not "pro-choice". By this standard I am a conservative, right wing, christian or a republican for short. Which means I side with repression over hedonism, hetero over homo, tradition over progression, religious over secular, morality over ...STOP!

You can see where I am going. We are given only extremes and then we are told that the opposites are wrong. I'm a firm believer in moderation. I like to live in the in-between, because I want to experience the many facets of life. But I do not want to get lost or consumed by the extreme ends that are blind to the value of the all.

I have views and opinions on all the issues I have alluded to, but I try to understand the other side. I value their opinion, because they can reveal something I may be blind to.

Politics is War

I've been thinking about the political climate in our nation. It seems to have escalated into a full blown, take no prisoners, win at all costs, war. Use propaganda to twist the truth to make your side look good. Focus on the positives, ignore the negatives. Hire mercenaries to do the dirty work. Proclaim your cause as that of one for Righteousness and Justice. Allie yourself with whomever will make victory certain, because that is what is important above all else. Identify all who oppose you as the "enemy". For best results associate your enemy with Satan, or for a broader base of support, evil. Paint a picture of armageddon. Divide and conquer.

This seems to be the political climate in our nation. What happened to a nation built with the tools of debate and compromise for the preservation of our Union, for the greater good of the people?

Irresponsible Journalism

I read the Op/Ed section of my local papers, as well as a few others online. I firmly believe in the open exchange of ideas and opinions. I tend to lean toward agreement with liberal columnists, but I find some value and merit in the conservative viewpoint. When it comes to free speech, I believe we, as individuals, become the filters for what is to be heard and allowed. We can choose to screen ourselves from that which we do not agree with, or can cause harm. But to ignore that which can be damaging to our society or community is irresponsible. It is with this in mind that I wrote the following letter to my local paper:

To the Editorial Board of the Mount Vernon News

From Shawn & Helen Svoboda-Barber

I am a firm believer in Freedom of Speech, but I am also a believer in responsible journalism. I leave myself open to read the viewpoints of others who I typically would not agree with. In the past six months since we moved to the area I have received your publication and read your opinion/editorial page regularly. I have found through my own observation that the number of columns and letters you publish do not favor left or right, liberal or conservative, you tend to publish equally left or right columns and letters.
I unfortunately feel that I have to draw the line when you choose to publish a column that reflects irresponsible journalism. Any column that promotes fear of a segment of our population based solely on religious background is irresponsible. I believe the Cal Thomas column published in the Thursday January 20, 2005 edition of your paper does just that. He takes a plot in a fictional TV program and items pulled out of context from a book by a terrorist expert to weave a column of fear toward an entire religious group. Columns like this one are the kinds of things that fan the flames of hate and fear in our nation.
Cal Thomas’ column is the type of column that drives people to plot violence against Islamic people, such as the case when Robert Goldstein plotted to bomb a mosque/Islamic education center in Florida. His writing sensationalizes his argument, he does not provide distinction, or define any difference between Islamic people, who live in our country peacefully, and radical terrorists.
Cal Thomas may have a valid point in his concern for homeland security, but his writing does nothing to help further the discussion of the topic. How productive can generating fear and hate be, unless your goal is to drive violent crime rates up? On a side note, you are more likely to suffer from a violent crime then be a victim of a terrorist attack.

I am herby canceling my subscription to your paper.

Sincerely,

-Shawn Svoboda-Barber


My wife and I were not planning renewing our paper anyway. I felt the need to respond to a column that did nothing to further the discussion of homeland security or terrorism. It merely laid the notion that islamic people in our country are here to raise money for terrorists and attack us from the inside, and something needs to be done because the government isn't doing anything about it. The only suggestions he has is to read the book (wish I would have kept the title and author of the boo) and watch the show 24 on Fox.
I enjoy 24, but I realize that it is fiction.

Lent

This year for lent I decided to try and incorporate exercise into my daily life. Before having a son I exercised regularly, 3-6 days a week. When he was born I decided to semi-retire from my routine so that I could work on being the stay at home dad. Now that I have been doing that for over a year it's time to try and incorporate exercise back into my life.
The reason I make it a lenten discipline is because exercise was typically a time of reflection, a time of meditation, a time of prayer for me. Plus, when you start exercising again, sometimes you need all the help you can to get you motivated and keep you motivated. I also need to do all I can to stay healthy. Being the spouse of a priest, we don't bring in major "moolaa". With the current administration, who knows if there will be any type of support for us when we get older. It's sad when we as a society can make advances and learn better ways to live and raise our children, but then, as a community or society, we do not use this knowledge to further advance our society. We have an administration that does not seem to believe in evolution but sure believes in survival of the fittest, or survival of the "richest".
You would think that from my post I am a democratic secularist. I'll set the record straight. I am a christian, of the Episcopal variety, who has a post-modern mind. I do not feel a lot of compassion coming from the republican party, but I'm not a registered democrat. I do not think that people of faith can or should seperate their ideology from their political action. That is why seperation of church and state is so difficult to maintain. Simply put, it is to keep the two entities from controling each other and to preserve peoples right to practice their own religion. But if our religion truely represents our belief system it represents the idea of how to live your life. It contains your value system. If you act conter to that value system, then you are acting conter to your proclaimed religiouns' beliefs.
I look to Jim Wallis as a good example for appling christian values to political action. We need to have a discussion first, to find some common ground and find what we can agree with. Then move out from there.

Up Late

It is amazing how each day can be different, when it comes to raising kids. For no apparent reason, my son was full of energy when we tried to go to bed last night. He had taken a couple of naps during the day but they were only a couple hours each, nothing unusual for him. We followed our typical bedtime routine of getting ready brushing teeth and reading a little outloud, and even tried his lullabye music. But he wanted to play more than usual. So I got up with him for an hour or so more so he could burn off some energy. He showed a little fussiness after awhile so we tried bed again. No luck, he still wanted to play. Back up we got and played for another hour or so. We finally got to bed around 2am. Needless to say, we didn't make it to church the next morning.

Now I'm up late again, this time, the dog.

Mother's Passing

My mother passed away the day after Christmas. Being a new parent, I'm left wondering what it was like for my mother raising a son as a single parent. My wife and I agree it's not easy to raise kids. At times during the first four months we felt like it would be hell if we didn't have each other for support. Maybe that is why in those early years it seemed my mother wasn't the most loving of parents; she didn't have love and support. Both my grandparents, who lived in Ohio, she in Kansas, passed away in the first two years of my life. My father denied his contribution to my existence. She was a divorcee who had lost custody of her previous children. She didn't have much family nearby. I felt loved as a toddler.

She eventually remarried; I was adopted by her new husband, and she had three more kids. We were a poor family, my parents did what they could to provide for us. But things must have been tough for my mom, she didn't seem like a happy person. What always sticks out for me from my memories were rages and venom from my mother. These of course are not my only memories, but the ugly ones involving my mother outweigh the good ones. She didn't seem able to communicate her love for us very well. She never seemed to express sarrow for any pain she caused her kids, in which we may not have been able to reciprocate for her. I'm making sure that doesn't happen with my children.

My mother must have done a good job raising all us kids because I think we all turned out okay. I don't feel any of us holds a great amount of animosity toward our mother. We all seem to have been able to make our peace with her before her passing. Maybe my journey through parenthood will give me some new insite as to who my mother was.

Free iPod Offer

There is a website that is trying a new marketing technique by offering a free iPod to people who get friends to try offers from internet companies. I'm trying this out. I have a friend that has already received his free iPod from the website. All you have to do is go to the link below and sign up.

http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=9924922

Trying to find your footing in a changing world

I am a new breed. I am a stay at home dad. Recently, as in July, I moved far away from all that I had known and grown up with. I followed my wife to her new job. This change was only one in a year that saw many changes. I became a father for the first time. I had to give up two jobs I enjoyed. Add to that all that has changed in our world around us, I feel like I am navigating life in a foreign world. I decided I needed to try some of the things changing in our world, ie weblogs. So as I raise a son in this new and changing world I hope to keep family back home abreast of life in Ohio. Where not in Kansas anymore.

Answers to Christmas Crossword

Answers

Across
2. caregiver
3. Thomas
5. thumb
7. Marriage
8. prayer
11. iMac
13. birthday
14. crosswords
16. Kenyon
19. weblog
20. walker
21. guest
22. four
23. Christian

Down
1. baptism
4. Philander
6. Kansas
9. rector
10. Vernon
12. Los Angeles
15. San Diego
17. maternity
18. Tampa

Sorry to anyone who didn't get a crosswrod, move on to the next post.